When temptations and pressures arise, I think there is more strength in restraint then there is in simply reacting. In reality it is very easy to get angry, to yell, to criticize, to gossip, to argue, to demand, to complain, and to be defensive. It takes a great deal more effort to respond with kindness, grace, humility and calmness. It takes even more effort to know when it is best not to respond at all, or to take responsibility for our actions. I venture to even say that those who are kind may just be the ones possessing the greatest strength.
When I look at my own life, I think about this a lot. No, I'm not saying I'm some amazing person; but I would like to share some of my personal reflections. I often feel that people view me as weak because I'm not an overly aggressive person, and I try to be nice to people. (Ok...this is how I feel. Whether this is really what people think of me I don't really know.) I was told one time that some of my co-workers from a previous job were talking about me when I was out of the room. One of them stated that "she would be so easy to make cry." I have to admit this was hurtful and made me angry. I'm not sure if this is a common opinion of me, but I feel that it is not an accurate portrayal of who I am.
It is true, I try to be nice, polite and kind. I might not always be successful with this goal, but I try.With that said, I will do what I need to do to protect myself and my family. I've also learned that many times in life, the greatest strength is imply holding on and not giving up. There were many times in my life that giving up would have been the easiest thing to do. I mustered up everything I had to simply hold on. During one the most difficult times in my life, a dear friend once told me, "This too shall pass." She was right. My brother told me a few years back that I was one of the strongest people he knew. This touched my heart. When I feel weak, I remind myself of his words. Ironically, I find my weakest moments are when I find myself being less than kind. When I respond ungracefully, when I gossip, when I complain, and when I'm downright hurtful. This happens more times than I care to admit. In those moments, I want to show my strength by lashing out. However, I just end up feeling weak and disappointed in my lack of self control.
So I guess I share all this just to say: before you judge someone as weak because they are nice, you may just be surprised to find they quietly hide a substantial level of strength inside.
