Santa Hater

I love Christmas.  Every day I like to plug in my Christmas tree and admire its beauty throughout the day.  I like singing Christmas carols with my kids.  This year we made cute little sock snowmen and gave them out as gifts.  I also really love the joy of giving.  Picking out gifts that I know my family will enjoy and anticipating the moment I get to watch them unwrap these gifts.  I also love traditions.  They are very important to me.  The traditional holiday meal, the prize games my family plays, even the way we open our gifts.  There are a lot of traditions this time of year.  One tradition I have chosen to leave out of our family, however, is Santa Clause.

I tend to get a look of surprise when I tell people that I have never done the Santa Clause tradition with my kids.  Some people even seem confused, as if it’s not possible for me to do such a thing.  Recently one of my co-workers even playfully dubbed me the “Santa hater” and has spread the word to others.  I would like to set the record straight.  I’m not a Santa hater; and I don’t condemn anyone who chooses to tell their children Santa is real.  I even have a couple decorative Santa figurines in my house.  In fact, some of my favorite Christmas movies have a Santa theme.  This was a personal choice that I made that I felt was right, for us anyway.

Even though the thought of not convincing my children that there is a Santa seems unfathomable to many, I actually have several reasons for this choice.  First, Christmas just isn’t about Santa.  I’m a Christian and this holiday is an important reflection of my faith.  It is a time to celebrate and rejoice in what God has done for me.  Often this key purpose to the holiday is lost by many things.  I feel like God, who truly is the great provider, shouldn’t have to compete with a fictional character that gets credit for gifts that he doesn’t really even give.

Second, I didn’t feel comfortable setting my kids up for disappointment.  I see so many parents create an elaborate story to convince their impressionable kids that this character is real and will reward them for good behavior.  They even become fearful of their children learning the truth.   I agree that it is fun to watch children get excited to see Santa and whisper their Christmas wishes into his ear.  For me, I look at the lesson they may learn later down the road.  Many children spend years of their life putting all their faith and belief into Santa Clause.  They truly believe with all their little hearts that this magical man is the ultimate rewarder of good, and he will defy the impossible to do so.  Years down the road they one day discover the truth that this person that they so wholeheartedly believed in was simply a fairytale that they have been taught to believe in as truth.  When that dreaded day comes (that parents so desperately avoid) the child is often filled with disappointment and possibly even devastation.  In fact, I remember when I discovered there was no Santa as a child.  I am the youngest of nine kids.  When I realized that everyone else knew there was no Santa except me I actually felt embarrassed.  I felt stupid.  It was like everyone else was in on this joke but me.  In my opinion, this day of revelation may simply teach children to always question what they believe in.  To be apprehensive to place their hope in anything at all.  To do so will make them vulnerable to the fear of being disappointed and to be proven mistaken.  If one of the first things they learn to put their hope in turns out to be a fairytale, then why hope.  Why believe.

Lastly, I chose to not teach my children in Santa Clause because it was more important for me to teach them to trust my word.  I admit to them that I may not always be right, but I want them to know that I won’t lie to them or intentionally lead them astray.  I didn’t’ way to spend years creating their belief in Santa with the reality that one day they will realize that all those things I convinced them of was simply not true.  I wanted to teach my kids that I am honest with them and want them to base their life on the truth.

In closing, I want to point out that I was never harsh toward my children regarding Santa.  No I didn’t spend hours drilling into their heads that he was not real or that he was evil.  In fact, for a little while my kids did believe in Santa because they saw him at the store.  I didn’t reprimand them for believe this, but I simply didn’t reinforce it.  I also made it clear to my kids to not tell other kids that Santa wasn’t real because I didn’t want to ruin it for other parents.  I respect their choice to create Santa for their kids. But for me, is just wasn’t the right choice for our family.